Chapter 1
Tuning in to the soul before you
holding space for life and universe arising

                We can feel another soul totally and completely if we choose to. We have the ability to tap into the space as it is and feel, to understand. The soul before you is not separate from you, the soul before you is no lesser nor more than you. The soul before you is no more or less important and significant than you. How you treat this soul is also how you treat a part of yourself because every soul that crosses your path is a fragment and an external representation of a part of us.

People who are hard and cold toward others are often hard on themselves when the rocky end of things hit home. This does not have anything to do with karma. It is the basic nature of “how you do anything, is how you do everything”. Every soul wishes to be heard, seen and felt. Every soul wishes to be acknowledged for their existence and for their existence to feel meaningful and useful. By caring for other souls we allow love to arise in our own lives. By caring for other souls, our own shell softens. By caring for other souls, our hearts grows a little bigger each time.

Recall an experience when you opened up to someone during a challenging time, in hopes of receiving an encouragement, a kind word, a feeling of understanding and acceptance and instead of that you received quite the opposite. You felt unheard, unseen, unfelt. Perhaps even a little feeling of regret for opening up to this person. While you were hoping for a touch of human kindness, you received a verbal, albeit positive-intended lesson of “being sensible”, “reality”, “look on the bright side”. The interaction suddenly becomes about the other person and you attempt to listen to them first in hopes they’ll come around back to you but you’re left dangling at the edge of your emotional cliff. They were listening to talk and not listening to listen. Now, realize that we’ve all done that to other souls unintentionally too. Let us now be reminded of the ways to truly tune in to another soul and holding a safe, heartfelt space for their opening, at times tender hearts.

Your attention is powerful. It is powerful because wherever your attention goes, your consciousness, awareness and energy flows. In the society, we are made to feel like we have to be okay all the time, that it is not okay to be hurting, not okay to be upset, not okay to be grieving. Because of this, we give an automated response of “I’m okay” to people. Instead of asking someone if they’re okay, you already intuitively know that they’re not. So tune in to this soul without needing to inquire, trust your own intuitions because you are more tapped in than you’d ever know.

Ask yourself questions: How is she feeling right now? What may be the causes of her current emotions? What does she need most right now to feel better, to heal even for a little, an open hearted listening? A gentle accepting embrace? An understanding touch? An empathetic kind word? A gaze of warmth, kindness and acceptance? Letting her know that you understand that she’s going through a process right now and that you’re here to hold a safe space for her? Just by being a quiet lighthouse in company for her? You know best because our intuitions always do when we tap in. Everything that she is undergoing and experiencing can be seen and felt from her entire exterior. The strength in her eyes, the subtle flashing frown at the end of her lips, the way her facial features feel today, the way her physical body stands today. It is in every word, every expression and every interaction she has. Tune in and feel without judgment by being a pure observer.

We have an immensely powerful healing nature and more often than not, listening totally, and completely without crafting an input while she is talking is exactly what a soul needs to allow natural healing to arise. More often than not, especially when advice isn’t asked for, a simple “I’m glad you shared this with me, I understand that this isn’t an easy time, I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you and please be patient and gentle with yourself during this process. Call me whenever you need to.” Is more healing, nurturing and loving than any babble we can give. Understand that the soul before you is already in a mess and giving unsought advice for the next half hour only complicates things. When she is speaking, this is no longer about you, don’t make it about you. This is not an opportunity for you to show how wise you are, how well you can fix things, how much more emotionally stable you are. Get your self out of the way. Let the moment be of her essence. Never make an attempt to convince.

Don’t try to fix anyone, don’t try to heal anyone and don’t try to create a reaction. Only a pure offering from the heart will do any good. An ocean wave blankets the sandy shore, recedes, returns and the cycle continues. Be that ocean wave. Stay in your intuition and you’ll know how much to give, how much to say, and very importantly, when to draw back to allow the soul a personal breathing space. Creating a sense of healing environment and supportive space allows for her natural healing to occur rather than gushing in like a tsunami, drowning out everything and seemingly demanding healing to occur instantaneously. We heal naturally when we are seen, heard and felt. Remember that how you feel becomes what she feels. Stay in a position of pure lovingness. You do this for her not because you feel a responsibility to, not because you want to prove something, but purely because as a soul, you can do this for another soul and you will. Allow her process, allow her own pace. As candles, you relight her flame every time it goes out, and you allow her, her own breathing space for her flame to burn. We are all candles for each other.

A soul’s hurt, pain, anger and unsettling emotions are not an annoyance. They’re a natural part of process. Honour everything that is occurring and arising by not belittling her emotions. Stay in your own heart space even as you reach out with nurturance. By allowing her to heal, the world heals.

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