There’s one big reason why i love running in the silent night, other than the smell of the earth and the kiss of the night breeze is the space for complete inner silence. Ever since the first moment i fell in love with night jogging and jogging for that matter a few years back, i discovered that in the midst of the run when the mind is completely emptied involuntarily and the only sounds you hear are that of your breath and your heart beating with your feet shuffling against the ground and after awhile everything melts into one another – your inner voice speaks.
It’s not that our inner voice speaks louder, but that we pay more attention with no presence of distractions. Solutions to challenging situations spring forth out of nowhere. Matters that I’ve been cracking my brain over for days gets resolved in a second. Anger, hurt, upset, and the likes gets released with every breath, automatically. It’s as though amidst the run we find our deepest selves again, even if its just for that moment. And today’s run was one of those runs.
Towards the end of my run a thought came from within that said: “You realize that the difference between someone who gets through situations and Life and someone who doesn’t is the awareness of personal responsibility and personal power. The struggle is the same. The struggle will always happen for both. But there’s one difference that makes all the difference. A man who stands up tall and recognizes that ‘I and I alone have the choice to change everything and I and I alone have the power, the light within to do so. I and I alone decides how i want to feel and I and I alone decides how my Life is going to be. Everything is choice.’ The man recognizes that as seasons change, so does the toughest times come to pass. And the speed at which it passes lies in his understanding of self and world, both connected, of release and of the amount of love he allows himself to give.
We must be very honest with ourselves. And at the same time, we must be very loving towards ourselves. Honesty brings us face to face with ourselves on a level that scares us, because that means we have to face our darkest side and deepest wounds that carries hurt, pain, guilt, shame and regrets. Things we wished we didn’t do. But what is covered cannot be released. Your love and light within will liberate you and release you but first you must bring darkness into light. That doesn’t mean its going to be easy. We’re going to have a war within us, and moments comes when all we want to do is run away. But stand our ground and pervade all hurt, all wounds, all regrets, all guilt, all shame, with our pure love and flood ourselves with forgiveness that stems from love. Only when we release ourselves from our own shackles will we release others from theirs just by being.
After all, hate is a lie, just a wound we feel inside. And hate is a wound we can heal inside.