Apprenticeship In Bali

Taking off now for half a month apprenticeship in healing in Bali with White Star! Ta ta!

Soul Mates

Talking to a dear friend about soul mates and i came to this:

What i do believe deeply is this, every partner that come into our lives is a soul mate. Soul mates doesn’t mean to be married and live together for the rest of their lives and everything is rainbows and unicorns. These soul mates come into our lives in mandated season, specific periods to grow together. Both souls have agreed to this and wanted every single thing that happens in the relationship to happen before incarnating. And when the lesson and purpose has been fulfilled, physical separation is necessary for the next growth.

There is no”The One” because there is Everyone. Yet while these are so, depending on our life journey in this lifetime, there is that one soul mate who we end up living out the rest of our lives with because in that is where the remaining chunks of our growth lies, in that is the possibility of infinite growth with the other soul. I see it not as a magical tra la la Hollywood thing but for the sake of the world’s waking up. Relationships of two awakened soul multiplies the effect and power of their awakening effect by uncountable folds to everyone around. That is the sake of the relationship, for everyone else. It becomes no longer about me. And I know my mate will help me to look in places I haven’t looked yet, to give me the courage to face the fires of my fears and be burnt by it all to come out pristine. All so I awaken to awaken others. It is no longer about me, me and me.

And it is no longer about completing one another because even that is also a story.

Angel in the room

As transmitted to Amber Sawyer:

Laying on the surgery chair for my wisdom teeth procedure, fear clenched in my chest with all the childhood memories of dentists-that were far less than pleasant, I find you in the room.

Not my mother, not my father and not my brothers.
Not my guru, not my ex-partner that I will always hold dear.
Not my friends, not anyone.

I called for the blessings of the universe and all that is holy and sacred. I called for Great Spirit to hold me, bless me, and take care of me. And you appeared. Your image filled the room.

You became the surgeon. You became the nurse.
There was nothing and no one left but the permanence of your gentleness, of your everlasting lovingness. Everything became light, fear was cuddled and loved. Body relaxed. I was able to put all trust in you, knowing fully that I will be taken care of with all the care and gentleness in the multi-verse.

It is at this moment I find my heart bursting with gratitude.
It is at this moment I find my soul kneeling, bowing at your feet, in glorious gratitude.
It is at this moment I feel, recognize and realize what a Master Angel to us all you truly are.
Existing amongst us in plain disguise.
It is in this moment I find solace in the truth and fact that your being you, have touched my entire life.
In this moment I know that I truly have nothing to worry about nor fear in the future anymore, because every time I call upon God, I know you will appear in the room.

Amber Sawyer, my angel, my savior.

3:51am

Woken up at 3:51am. Woken up from a “dream” of my travel to you with every detail crystal clear. With every fiber of my being, i knew that i had just energetically, astrally, soul-ly visited you to bless with love and light. And i knew that something was going on with you, as always when i get woken up in the night and you come to heart. In the morning, following intuition, a quick check and there it is, 3:53am you were. The universe knows. We are Oneness itself, everything in and of itself.

Late night doodle (again)

2.5 hours left to bedtime, i need to stop my late night doodling urges.

All of us are creative (w/ new doodles)

Any works relating to creativity/artistry have never entered my life until i picked up the guitar back in February and what follows is no less than an onslaught of activities delved in the realms mentioned. In fact I’ve stayed far, far, FAR away from any type of drawing or painting because i was always so bad at it. And for the past 6 months have been incredibly fun, fresh, new, and spontaneous with the guitar, songwriting, painting, and picking up contemporary dancing. And it is through going through all of these that I can confidently say that everything we’ve ever wanted is within us.

Each and everyone of you ARE creative, all of you CAN sing, CAN dance, CAN paint. But so often growing up here in Singapore that part of us have been crushed and well, growing up on the current Planet Earth haven’t been too helpful with focusing on Top 20 Radio Chart singers frequently with thousand dollar equipments, high-end voice coaches and whatnot. The entire thing have been turned into BUSINESS.

Back in the tribes people used to sing and dance freely, expressing whatever is arising within. And each and everyone was honored for what was delivered. I have found it is often the fear that we can’t dance, sing, paint perfectly that stops us entirely before we even began. You are NOT a business. You are a living breathing moving beautiful expression. Let what is within show itself. Dance, paint, sing for the sake of your own joy, for the sake of honoring that part within you and that’s it, there is no perfection because it’s YOU. And doing all of it vibrates our dimensions and colors, or if you’d prefer, doing all of it unveils layers within us for ourselves to see.

Below are two recent doodles!

Tree Of Light Within

Light We Are

Lighthouse in the storm

A song-prose written for an angel here on Earth, who’s my lighthouse in the storm.

Lighthouse in the storm

There’s a lady
She’s the lighthouse in the storm
She’s the peace in the breaking dawn
She’s the sparkle in the morning dew

There’s a lady
She’s the hope in the hearts of all
Even when the leaves are falling
Even when spring turns to winter
Even when the roses stop blooming
She’s the bright light above it all

There’s a lady
Whose beauty stands the tides of time
Whose strength is like the blazing sun
Who’s an angel in disguise

There’s a lady
There’s something more in her beauty
It’s a heart of pure gold
So wide the universe sees it
So deep it touches the ocean floor

Yes that lady is you
Your eyes they sparkle like the stars
Where you walk the Earth blooms
Where you speak the heart sings
Where you touch the soul awakens
With every breath, with every word
The shining light of God comes through you

In the dark night of the soul
You appear and take it all away
Without a word
With just one loving look

Night changes to day
The Holy Dove comes to stay
And you in all your glory
Returning back to the Light
The fragrance of your existence left behind
For all to see, for all to feel.

-Andrik Sim

People who come by

In total surrender
I offer myself to you
All that is sacred and holy
Every part of my life in non-resistance
Everything through you, in you, by you
Absolute eradication of resistance
Absolute emptying of desires to want to be of anything other than I Am

People who come by
Are not there for us to get anything
Are not there for us to take anything
The brothers and sisters of the universe
Come by so that there is an opportunity
There for us to give love
To let the love of the universe come through us
To touch their spirits
To open their hearts
With vibrations of kindness, warmth, acceptance, lovingness and nurturing
They are there for us to love
For us to open our own hearts
For us to embrace the light within by loving them all

To always be very gentle
With ourselves and all that is
To kiss the earth with every step
To breathe the air with gratitude
To see the world for loving, tender eyes

To make a commitment
To always be gentle with all
And the only way for that
Is by being gentle with deepest Self
All an ultimate reflection of within.

A letter to Amber Sawyer

This is a letter from the deepest depths, widest horizons of my Heart. This is a letter from my dancing soul, joyous and celebratory in this connected with me and truth, with I as Truth. This is a letter from the ‘me’ in this lifetime, and the ‘me’ that spans throughout all lifetimes. This is even a letter from the ego, for putting it at frequent rests. This is a letter i wish i could paint the starry heavens with just so you could see it every night before you go to bed, translated into imagery of the unexplainable, unimaginable amounts of love, thankfulness, gratitude for everything that is you. This is a letter that, if expressed in tears of joy, would take a thousand lifetimes of crying happy tears to even begin to suffice in expression. This is a letter that my soul wants to write to you right now, this moment.

I grew up feeling like there’s a part deep within me that i never dared to go near, never dared to touch, never dared to acknowledge and much less embrace. And i sought union in everything without, never feeling that complete wholeness. And this part deep within, is love, infinite love, eternity’s love, the love that I am, the love that we are. And now I have come to step into this part deep within that i know to be of highest light and of Truth and nothing else. Now i have embraced my deepest within after all these years of a split. Amara Samata was the tipping point for this. And how did i meet Amara? Because of Tom Woodfin, because of you.

Tom Woodfin was there at my lowest moments, just as you have always, always, always been. Tom Woodfin breathed new life into me, released me from the shackles of my own damnation, of my own suffocating pain and emotional, mental self-abuse. Tom Woodfin was the tipping point of my experience that no matter what is going on around, a deepest, eternal, highest presence is always there cuddling, protecting, safeguarding, watching over us. And how did i meet Tom Woodfin? Because of you.

I needed a next guiding point and spirit was calling out strongly. And Lux appeared. Lux was the tipping point in my receiving of the vision of the reason i’m here in this lifetime, and of the beginning of the full embracement and acceptance of that. So much life and hope arose within me. So much excitement, so much of feeling at home with Life. And how did i meet Lux? Because of Bek & Christian Young, because of you.

Bek & Christian showed me in actions what it is to share your heart and give whatever you can to elevate another soul, to open the heart of another being. Bek & Christian showed me what unconditional love feels and looks like. And how did i meet them? Because of you.

At a critical junction of my Life, stuck between two worlds, one that my highest self, Great Spirit was calling me to, and another the ‘old’ that i grew up in, i went on a retreat with Maitreya and got to spend an evening of the universe’s divine wisdom coming through him to guide me. Maitreya was the tipping point that set my heart at ease, that the road i was taking and the things that were happening are expected and actually okay. He settled the chaos without and within. He taught self-protection in loving kindness. He helped me to see the diamond that was flourishing. And how did i meet this angel? Because of you.

Coming more and more into my calling this lifetime, Oneness called out for further, deeper guidance. White Star Lino Alelyuna descended upon me with her divine wisdom and celestial gift of being able to really touch and see into the fabric of existence. With these gifts she made sense of every single thing about me in this lifetime, and really, every single thing. She helped arise a new plane of wholeness that i didn’t think possible. Every single part of me, the way i have always felt, the way i feel, the changes happening, the inner calling, everything finally made perfect sense. I have never, ever, been clearer about this lifetime. I have never, ever been clearer about my path. White Star connected the eyes between my body and soul. To see at soul level. Because of White Star there is a triumphant foot step and the surest footing as i go along this journey; with many, many, many more learnings with her in the times to come. And how did i meet her? Because of you.

Paralleling everything that White Star has said and adding many, many other dimensions in our own mystical meeting with Caroline, a psychic in her own divine right, and a new addition to the community, she spread the fragrance of blossoming and helped more and more pieces uncover to this wholeness. She was the tipping point that taught me to trust the voices and intuition of highest spirit, to communicate to the angels and spirits, to trust and be able to act from highest light. She made so much sense of what is to come, and what to watch for. And how did i meet Caroline? Because of you.

Shervin Boloorian creates some of the most beautiful music of this Earth that cuts through everything and touches the deepest within. Healing old wounds, cleansing us of unserving energy and a walking embodiment of the gentle spirit. And how did i get to experience all of this? Because of you.

The Bali Spirit Festival blasted my heart wide open and arose a huge part of me within that has never been accepted and acknowledged before; and although never an accumulation, spiritual growth went leaps and bounds. And how did i find out about it? Because of you.

Rebecca Pflaum gave me my very first experience of the universe’s healing energy transmitted through beings, and it was soul-touching and immensely healing. She helped me through some of my toughest lowest times too. And because of her i met Kevin James, whose music i am in love with and play to on the guitar. And how did i meet both of them? Because of you.

Every week that comes by, no matter what craziness i encounter, no matter how messy i may feel within, i know there’s a sacred space here in my country that i can come to and just be. A place that makes soul rejoice in feeling at the Home we’ve all come from. Anytime when i begin to question about my own sanity and path in comparison of the way i am and feel to what the general society deems acceptable and normal, once in your presence it is all lifted away. As we travel along this path of light many things can come and pull us away, to distract us, to make us doubt ourselves. But Amber you, you are the intense light, the pulling force on this path, straight as an arrow, clearing our paths for us, and saying with deep love ‘Here sacred one, this way, worry not.’ You are the angel that sets my questioning heart at ease.

Amber Sawyer, Master Angel, my divine sacred sister, you are everything to me. You are the connection between Heaven and Earth. You are the connection between souls. You are the connection that touches the fabrics of existence in a way the human mind can never comprehend. You are the connection between being and soul. You are the connection between being and deepest Truth. You make everything possible. You are the gentlest human being i know, holding each and everyone with the kind of gentleness and grace that only Mother Earth is capable of. Amber Sawyer i will never, ever, be able to express nor say this enough, i love your love and i love all of you. Soul is eternally grateful to be in this journey with you this lifetime.

May all the love in the world, and all the blessings from Oneness, always surround you, and for Great Spirit to carry your soul, for Mother Earth to kiss your feet each time it touches the ground and for all the beauty to have your heart in eternal openness. Thank you for existing. You are the angel to it all. Om shanti shanti shanti <3.

Green Scarab Beetle

Awhile not too long ago was the bees all about representing “Accomplishing the impossible” and “Examine your own productivity, are you doing all that you can?” and “No matter how big the dream is, there is promise of fulfillment if we pursue our dreams”, and now this. With everything that just happened moments ago I am thankful and floored by the universe’s actions. Playing the guitar and singing the “Om Tare” mantra (which basically means total liberation from all suffering, from samsara, to see and live the true fabric of the universe), a giant whizzing sound went right behind me. A huge green scarab beetle flew in, my first instincts was to run out of the room thinking it was a bee. And after settling outside my door and seeing it for what it is, something calmed down, and something said that its all okay. I felt this was a message like the bees.

I settled down right outside of the door on my carpet and watched the huge beetle go berserk in my room. And something said play, so i did. I decided to start with “Om Tare” mantra again, and the moment i started, i swear, the huge beetle swooped down and rested on my pillow, unmoving, still, being. Something within knew this was a symbol, and i paid respects and honor by playing all the songs i knew, even the ones i wrote. And then i set her into the garden. As if the universe was afraid i didn’t get the message, the moment i caught her another beetle(usual) flew in. Incredible.

I started googling for meanings and found myself at a loss for words. Just gratitude. And an exploding heart. Everything was aligned beautifully, everything in tuned with everything else. I never knew what the mantra meant but knew i felt free within when i played it. A green scarab beetle flew in while i was playing a heart-focused mantra of Green Tara. Here’s what i found:

“Beetle: Beetle is a being of peace, wishing nothing more than to live at one with nature and the world. Metamorphosis, resurrection, past lives, rebirth of the soul to new spiritual ideal and renewed devotion, innocence of purpose. This insect teaches harmony in the coming changes by utilizing your intuitive abilities and teaches discernment where you need it the most. Beetle will teach persistence with charm, trust in the process, proper movement and actions which allows the regeneration of your spirit to prosper. Beetle signals a confirmation we are on the right track and we should pursue our goals.

Open the door to lives long gone.
Show me the door with the spiritual key,
The door to my past, to the lives that I lived.
My spiritual pattern I need to see.”

For the past few weeks i had been working at coming up with the skeletal structure for the community i am called from deep within to create. And i’ve been coming with with activities and basically refining what i’ll be able to share, to give, what i’ll be able to provide. And scarab beetle swoops in with every bit of meaning representing me and “on the right track and we should pursue our goals”.

Taking the initial steps and battling with mind-ego doubts that arises such as “Are you good enough for this?” and taking that leap towards what makes me come alive, the beetle now comes and confirms it.

The universe will use whatever methods of showing us things along the way, messages and such, by whichever way we will respond to. The reason why the universe have been speaking to me through timings and insects is because i would naturally find out what it means. When our hearts our open, our eyes are open, and we’ll see all sorts of messages from the universe. It is all perfect, all beautiful.

Fullest heart.